sharing family photos via icloud

I've read dozens of support docs and articles on family sharing of photos and icloud photos, and I'm still confused. My spouse and I want to share 20+ years' worth of vacation photos across our Mac OS and iOS devices. We simply want to be able to sit down at any of our Macs and go through the photos of a trip, and have them properly sorted by day taken, so that the photos are in chronological order. Each trip contains an average of 200-400 photos. As far as we can tell, the only way to (sort of) do this is for one person to have have each trip in an album, and then share the photos of that trip in a shared album. And this is what we've begun to do, using icloud photos to store the images. But now only one of us can delete photos from any shared album, and we can't sort them at all (huh?)! Is there really no way to have shared control over shared albums, and have them be sortable? This seems like such a simple use case, and yet it's impossible to find a clear and concise explanation about whether it can be done and how. I could care less about things like enabling people to "like" photos or add comments.