trying to resore my password on iphone 8. I have it plugged into my computer, and the support apple is at the top with computer and charger image on the face. but I do not see iphone on computer.

updated my phone yesterday after relentless prompting from apple. entered in a new password to unlock phone two times for verification. left phone alone so it would continue to charge. new password doesnt unlock phone. trying to clear password and start over. at thye step where Ive connected the phone to my computer but I do not see the iphone on my computer. where do I find the phone icon?