my phone is disabled and it says sign in wit itunes but i dont have itunes

Do you have a computer? Is it running Big Sur or Catalina. If so, attach your phone to the computer. If it is an older one then it must be really old to not have iTunes. You can download iTunes but if the computer is that old you probably need a newer model.

iTunes installer direct download (Mac - only 12.8, and PC) - http://www.apple.com/itunes/download/

Now read the Apple Support document about what to do "If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled". Click here then select your device type if necessary --> http://support.apple.com/HT204306

- Also has links for what to do for an iPad or an iPod touch.

- On the remote contingency you are asked for your Apple ID and password AND you have forgotten those:

If you forgot your Apple ID, click here --> https://support.apple.com/HT201354

If you forgot your Apple ID password, click here --> https://support.apple.com/HT201487

To jump directly to the site to help you recover forgotten account information, click here -->- http://iforgot.apple.com/

What to do after [or before] you change your Apple ID email address or password - https://support.apple.com/HT204071

If you still need help:

- Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues." - https://support.apple.com/HT204169

If you do not have a computer take your phone to somebody who has a computer with iTunes or the music App on newer machines. Failing that, take it to an Apple store.