Well, there is something you can do, but it's a bit of a pain. This is what I tried:
1. Set up iTunes to sync books and make sure that "Notes" are also sync'd (check the box under the Info/Other tab after selecting your iPad).
2. get a shareware program to extract files from these "backups" - for example can get from
http://supercrazyawesome.com/ -- use this program and select the "iBooks" app name to extract and put it in it's own folder
3. Get a SQL browser program to look at the "UserData...sqlite" file just extracted -- I got one at
http://sourceforge.net/projects/sqlitebrowser/files/sqlitebrowser/2.0%20beta1/sq litebrowser200_b1osx.zip/download
4. Put the Browser program in "Browse Data Mode" and Select the "ZBKBOOKMARK" table and your notes should be in the "ZANNOTATION" field.
Kind of ugly, but one of these days someone will hopefully write an app that does this directly. One thing that I've noticed is that notes that have used the "Return" key to put more than 1 line in the note, don't seem to work correctly. However really long notes on the same line seem to be OK.
So, just to kind of explain a bit - iBooks does not modify the "epub" document, it merely keeps track of your "additional" info in another SQL database that tracks "where" in the document your info belongs and what it is. This can be a bit obtuse, as I don't think it can keep track of page numbers as they can change depending on font size, so not sure how it really does this, but you can see some of the pieces of info that it keeps track of, like the sentence where the "note" is located and the word within that sentence - am guessing that it keeps track of which word number location the "note" is at, as this would not change no matter what the font size is, but perhaps someone else can explain this.
Good luck and hope this helps a little ...
-Bob