How do i access apple music in my family sharing plan, also my family and i are in different countries

You can't.

Share App Store, iTunes Store, and Apple Books purchases with Family Sharing - http://support.apple.com/HT201085 - "To share purchased content, all family members must use the same iTunes Store country or region."

You can, but then you would block that family member from playing music and all your playlists and songs would be merged in a single library which may not be desirable.

With that said, If you are already part of Family Sharing, that means your Apple ID is set to the same country as the Family Organizer's and you should be able to directly access Apple Music from the music App.