I am trying to erase my device on itunes/icloud because I am fed up - been locked out and disabled for 4 days due to forgetting password

Incorrect Process:

Erase All Content and Settings and use a new Passcode after the erase won't work because it will ask you for the old passcode. You have only one option read below

Correct Process

If one had attempted unlocking multiple times with incorrect Lock Screen passcode, or if a message says that the device is disabled, learn what one needs, what one gets, and what is lost.

You need a computer to follow these steps. If you don't have a computer, borrow one from a friend.

Forgot? Click below to reset…

Click->If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your ...

Regarding your data, If…

1. You have an iCloud or iTunes latest backup, then there is nothing to worry about. If not read more...
2. You have synced your data to iCloud, then what you will get back is what you have synced to iCloud and uploaded to iCloud Drive; like the information that are synced and stored in iCloud are, Contacts, Calendars, Bookmarks, Mail, Notes, Voice Memos, shared photos, iCloud Photos*, Health data, call history, and files you store in iCloud Drive. (*-If you had turned on iCloud Photos, your content is automatically stored in iCloud.)
3. You have not backed up or do not have the latest backup, nor imported nor you have synced nor uploaded your data to cloud drives prior to the situation that you are in, then I am sorry, all your data is lost.