how to i connect to itunes if my phone is the iphone se and the home button doesnt work ?

You cannot. You need a working home button to unlock the screen so iTunes will let you restore it. So you’ll have to get the home button repaired first.

So I think you can first ask Siri to do something on your phone that you need your passcode to do (like "send a message"). She (or he) will then ask you to unlock your iPhone with your code. When you have done this, go to settings -> accessibility -> touch -> AssistiveTouch and turn it on. Now you have a home button on your screen. tap it, and you will get many choices (for example home, control centre Siri).

Hope this works, if not, do what Michael Black says:

A:

You cannot. You need a working home button to unlock the screen so iTunes will let you restore it. So you’ll have to get the home button repaired first.