icloud family sharing or icloud family stealing access to all files, with the organizer having too much control

HOW DO I DETERMINE WHAT FILES I MAYBE SHARING WITH FAMILY WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE????

YOU LET ONE FAMILY MEMBER BE THE ORGANIZER IS LIKE GIVING HIM THE KEYS TO THE CASTLE, YOU SHOULD HAVE CAPS LIMITS AS TO HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU GIVE THIS ROLE. i CAN'T EVEN CHECK MY OWN ICLOUD PREFERENCES IWTHOUT HIS PERMISSION? ALL ICLOUD SUPPORT IS ALL THIS GOOD NICE IN THE WORLD SHARE FOLDERS WITH FAMILY SIMPLY, BUT WHAT IF I AGEREE TO LET SOMEONE SHARE THEIR MUSIC WITH ME BUT NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. SO BY GIVING THEM ACESS TO SHARE THEIR MUSICE i AM POSITIVE THAT HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE STEALING MY FILES FOR REVIEW.

dont ask me what device, it sounds ridiculous. icloud is synced to all my devices because I believed icloud had safeguards in place, but clearly you do not