im wondering if it is possible to delete an old imessage and have it removed from my phone and the receivers phone.
iPhone 8 Plus, iOS 14
I have tried it with my friends to see if it would delete from their phone, but once I deleted it they said they could still see it.
As the previous contributors stated, you cannot delete a message on someone else's phone.
In the future you may want to consider using messaging apps that provide self-destructing messages: https://www.popsci.com/send-self-destructing-messages/
You have no control over any other device. You can only delete it from yours.
You cannot delete any message from the receiver’s phone.
Can I delete a message and have it removed from both sides?
