Airpods bluetooth protocols when using iPhone AND Mac

Hi.

Drooling over the air pods Max.

Currently I have Bose QC35ii. the sound quality is quite good but I have chronic problems with the Bluetooth protocol. Not the connection itself, the connection is reliable and true.

The problem is when I am on a call through the Mac (multiple times every day) and there is even a small notification on the iPhone, it switches to the iPhone, and adds a time buffer – effectively removing me from the phone call for maybe five seconds every time. This is super disruptive.

On a (very) uncharacteristically unhelpful support chat just now, I was told to just change my phone's settings to be fully silent. I get this but it's not practical to change my phone settings over and over all day every day.

What I'd prefer is to control the protocol differently, either a manual switch, or a 'call mode' when it simply sticks to the Mac and ignores the phone. Or blend the sounds like with a mixer. Like I can do with sound on my PC between games and music.

I have tried to solve this but haven't been able to. At this point I may run wired signal from Mac and iPhone into a hardware mixer or switch (purchased) and then bluetooth (1 signal) to my headset. Clunky.

But... how is this about Airpods?

Because the Airpods are Apple and the Mac and iPhone are apple... frankly I expect ground-breakingly superior solutions that would be possible with Airpods that aren't available with non-Apple headsets!

Controllable protocol, smarter protocol... something. Please tell me this exists and I am missing it! Sound issues are my #1 technical issue and I use my headsets all day. Calls, music, workouts, books...)