how do I update to big sur?

The Age of this computer will Govern what newer version of macOS it will Qualify to install. Use About this Mac from the Apple Icon on Desktop - the required Information will be there.

With the above information in-hand - follow this How to get old versions of macOS and verify what version this computer Qualifies to install. Make sure to use Only Safari to commence the download as Other may not work

Make a Time Machine Backup Before attempting. Notation - Mojave is the Last version to support 32 bit applications / extensions and Drivers. Catalina and Big Sur Only support 64 bit and there is not workaround.

Back up your data, check your applications for compatibility, and if your Mac model is recent enough, click on Big Sur. Otherwise, you can't.

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