how do i get a refund sent back to my apple id?

See here: link-> Request a refund for apps or content that you bought from Apple - Apple Support

The refund will go to the payment method used when making the purchase,

Normally, all sales are considered final, but you can ask for a refund.

If you have received a confirmation email, click the Report a problem link at the bottom.

Purchases problem.      

How long refunds from the App Store or other Apple services take.