Disabled iPad

Hi wondering if there’s a way to reset a iPad that says disabled bc I guess password. It’s saying to connect to iTunes but when I do this iPad isn’t showing. We let a cousin borrow it for a “week” and just got it back after over a year. He changed our password for it and now conveniently can’t remember what he changed it to. I have tried iTunes but device not listed and I tried support and when I put the serial number in it says that it couldn’t help or something like that. I am trying to avoid a trip to the apple store since it’s almost a hour drive . Anyone know what I can do to help. Please and thank you so much!