i am in recovery mode. plugged into the computer, itunes is not showing a device connected. now what

somehow the iPhone changed...the passcode to a 6 number instead of 4. so she is disabled. i was going to erase it and start over. but iTunes does not recognize the device. it doesnt appear to be connected to the internet so I can not erase from "findmy". I am in recovery mode, i am connected to the computer which is connected to the internet. Can I force iTunes to look for the device again or connect to it?