how can i tell if my mac is too old to update

Which OS you can upgrade to will be governed by which model and year your mac is.

Click on the  top left of your screen click on About This Mac to find out the year of your mac.

If you find your mac can upgrade to the newer OS's like macOS Mojave 10.14, macOS Catalina 10.15, 

or macOs Big Sur 11.5 I would recommend you upgrade to macOS High Sierra 10.13 first.

For High Sierra, Mojave or Catalina,

Open Safari and click on this link, 

How to get old versions of macOS – Apple Support

Go to Check Compatibility to see if your mac qualifies for the OS upgrade you want.

Then go to the Download OS section and click on the OS you want to install.

Before upgrading make a full back up of your Mac.

Check that third party apps you use have updates available for the new OS.

https://roaringapps.com

Check that your printers/ scanners etc have updated drivers and software available for the new OS.

Connect your mac to your router via cable rather than rely on WiFi.

Do not use your mac while it is downloading

and do not use any other devices that share the same internet connection.

If the App Store says ‘Open’ then it is detecting a previous download of the install app

go to the Applications folder locate Install macOS ******.app.

Move it to the Trash, empty the Trash.

Restart, click on the link again, the App Store should say ‘Get' or 'Download'.

If you want to or are able to install Big Sur, open Safari and click on the link below.

How to upgrade to macOS Big Sur - Apple Support

If you are considering upgrading to Catalina or Big Sur be warned they do not support 32bit apps.

Your Mac is probably running 32bit apps and these will need to be updated to 64bit apps,

some updates may be free, some may be paid. Use this app to discover which apps you have

are 32bit, https://www.stclairsoft.com/Go64/ then contact the developers of the software to see

if they are offering 64bit updates.

The Age of this computer will Govern what newer version of macOS it will Qualify to install. Use About this Mac from the Apple Icon on Desktop - the required Information will be there.

With the above information in-hand - follow this How to get old versions of macOS and verify what version this computer Qualifies to install. Make sure to use Only Safari to commence the download as Others may not work. Safari will open a redirect and open the Apple Store where you can commence the download. If an error message appears, that is probably because one is using another Browser.

Suggest using Go64 to find 32 bit application before attempting the upGrade. Some or many of the Application already installed may required update or upGrades to 64 Bit Versions.

Make a Time Machine Backup Before attempting. Notation - Mojave is the Last version to support 32 bit applications / extensions and Drivers. Catalina & Big Sur support 64 bit and there is no workaround.

Are there any AntiVirus, Disk Cleaner, Optimizers, Un-installers, etc installed which should be removed as per Developers Instructions. They are useless, unneeded, cause havoc and interfere with the normal operation of the OS and may even Corrupt the OS requiring a Reinstallation