Syncing calendar among multiple devices

I have a fairly new MacBook, and older, secondary MacBook, an iPhone, and two iPod touch devices (again, one newer and more frequently used). I would like to sync the calendar among all of them, although it's particularly important between the two MacBooks and the phone. At times it seems like they are synced, at other times I have to delete multiple items every day from one device even though they've already been removed from the calendar on the newer MacBook, which is my primary device. Is this done through a setting in System Preferences? The Apple Support pages talks about connecting a mobile device such as the phone to the laptop with a cord and doing it that way, and maybe it's possible to connect the two laptops. What's the best way to do this? Is this also an issue of how I have designated calendar items? As a broad, general rule, I don't want to clog the small screens of the mobile devices with entries from the 10 individual categories or "calendars" set up within the calendar app, so some of them aren't designated for "sharing." Although there are exceptions, I really only need appointments and events on the mobile devices, not reminders about household tasks, for example.