How can my dad and I have a family share account without him having to get verification from me to buy anything? But still have access to all my stuff

How can my dad and I have family share without him having to verify everything he buys and we have our own credit or debit cards. Also both are names are michael and same last name and our phones keep switching who we are and our pics and numbers he went to er and couldn’t get hold of me because it switched his phone to my number and he doesn’t know apple very well. Also I been using apple since it first strted iPhones and old macs and I can’t figure this out just want to be able to share are stuff and buy our own stuff and our ids to be correct. I finally was able to get him to switch because of this and the watch I bought him and now he wants to go back to android cause everything is getting so screwed for both of us. Even got us both new phones and watches and still screwing up I’ve talked to t mobile for about 40 hours gone in store twice and tried apple support mult times I just want this fixed