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Can I download upgrade 10.9.5 on a Mac os x to get iTunes and restore my iphone
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iTunes should already be installed on your Mac. It's part of the macOS and installs with the system. It cannot be deleted from the computer.
What version macOS are you currently running?
If you are using Catalina or newer, then you will restore your iPhone via the Finder and no longer in iTunes or Music app.
Restore your iPhone…from a backup - Apple Support