To make it my software update

Assuming a compatible device, see: Update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

If the above Apple article doesn’t help, please post back with relevant information. 

See the articles below.

Get help with over-the-air iOS updates  -

Update – Can’t or can’t restore   -

Have you tried using iTunes on a computer or Finder if running Catalina or later to do the update?

Update software on iOS devices in iTunes on Mac. -

Phone, iPad, or iPod touch - Update with Finder.  *

iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Update with iTunes.  *

If you see an error when you update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod    *

Updating iOS: common issues and solutions.  -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csJAEyvvruY