Why is icloud so difficult to use
I don't want photos deleted in photos on my computer when I delete them on the phone. Everything about icloud is confusing. How do I stop across the board deleting?
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iCloud Photos seems to be the wrong tool for what you want to do. The main purpose if iCloud Photos is to keep the libraries on all devices in sync and identical. So any photo you delete on one device will be deleted from iCloud Photos and all other synced devices, or the libraries would no longer remain identical. With Cloud Photos you have one and the same library on all your devices. This is highly convenient, if you want to have it that way.
You simply cannot use iCloud Photos, if you want to have different photos libraries on your devices syncing with iCloud. Keep your iCloud Photos Library small enough to fit onto your device with the least storage. Or enable "Optimise Storage" on the device with the least storage. Then iCloud will remove photos you have not used in a long time from the device and replace it locally by a smaller, optimised version for browsing. But do not delete photos on your own. Let iCloud remove them, if the device is low on storage.