can i charge my new 13 pro max with my SE 2020 charging cable? recieved 13 but no wall adaptor. You'd think for $1100 apple could include a wall adaptor lol!

Yes, Apple encourages using the power adapter and cable from previous iPhones.

See the following from Buy iPhone 13 Pro and iPhone 13 Pro Max - Apple

As part of our efforts to reach our environmental goals, iPhone 13 Pro and iPhone 13 Pro Max do not include a power adapter or EarPods. Included in the box is a USB‑C to Lightning Cable that supports fast charging and is compatible with USB‑C power adapters and computer ports.

We encourage you to re‑use your current USB‑A to Lightning cables, power adapters, and headphones, which are compatible with these iPhone models. But if you need any new Apple power adapters or headphones, they are available for purchase.

We were told at our carrier's store that using a USB cord will drain the battery rather than charge it. Since my CarNet (connection to my car) is only USB, I tried it. My phone got so hot after a few minutes, I unplugged it. So, if Apple has such lofty "environmental goals", why change the connection to a "type-C" at all? I call GREED, rather than environment.