my iphone 12says that i need to connect to itunes

If it says you need to connect to iTunes then that is the only way you can “undisable” the phone.

If your iPhone has iOS 15.2 or later installed, check out this link→How to reset your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch when you forgot your passcode - Apple Support. Otherwise:

See this Apple support link→If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support

Or watch this companion video ⬇️

After restoring the phone using one of the methods above you can restore your most recent backup.

If you see the Restore screen on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

Well, this post provides no more information than we had after the original post.

We don’t know, for example:

• What have you seen?
• What have you tried?
• What worked?
• What failed?
• What error messages appeared?
• What iOS version?
• What type of computer?
• What operating system?
  • Name?
  • Version?
• What iTunes version number (if applicable )?