Syncing through iCloud is essentially useless. I have yet to see it do anything but create duplicates, or bring back contacts you've removed. We gave up on iCloud entirely. There are two ways to do it so the contacts always match from one device to another. The method is essentially the same. It's just a matter of if you want your Mac to be the master, or your iPhone/iPad. Both are easier to do than the steps listed below make it seem.
Mac as the master:
- Open Contacts (naturally)
- Edit, add and remove your contacts until it's exactly they way you want it.
- Highlight any name and press Command+A so all contacts are selected.
- Right click on any name and choose Export vCard to your desktop, or wherever you want it.
- You'll get one file that contains all of your contact info. Email that .vcf file to yourself.
- Go to the iCloud settings on your iPad/iPhone and turn Contacts off. Choose to delete all current contacts on the iOS device. Leave the Contacts switch off.
- Go to the email you just sent yourself and tap on the .vcf attachment. You'll be asked if you want to import xxxx contacts. Say yes.
- Your iPhone/iPad contacts will now be identical to your Mac.
- Anytime in the future you update the contacts info on your Mac, repeat the steps. The only subtle difference is step 6. You first turn Contacts back on. It doesn't matter if you choose replace or combine because then you immediately turn it back off to delete all current contacts. Then continue with steps 7 and 8.
iPhone/iPad as the master:
- Open Contacts (naturally)
- Edit, add and remove your contacts until it's exactly they way you want it.
- Install the free My Contacts Backup from the App Store.
- Run the app. It will collect your contacts and offer to send out a combined .vcf file. Email that .vcf file to yourself.
- If you have more than one iOS device, go to the iCloud settings on your iPad/iPhone and turn Contacts off. Choose to delete all current contacts on the iOS device. Leave the Contacts switch off.
- Go to the email you just sent yourself and tap on the .vcf attachment. You'll be asked if you want to import xxxx contacts. Say yes.
- Your iPhone/iPad contacts will now be identical.
- For your Mac, open Contacts and delete all entries. Import the .vcf file you just emailed to yourself from your iPad/iPhone. Contacts on your Mac will now match the iOS device you're using as your master.
- Anytime in the future you update the contacts on your iPhone/iPad, repeat the steps. The only subtle difference is step 6. You first turn Contacts back on. It doesn't matter if you choose replace or combine because then you immediately turn it back off to delete all current contacts. Then continue with steps 5 and 6 for your other iOS device. Step 8 for your Mac.