erratic mouse behavior

My Magic Mouse behaves very erratically. If I move it (especially sideways), it may zoom in or out as if I were using gestures. If I touch it (especially while moving it), it zooms in as if I'm using gestures. It continues to do this after turning off all the gestures in the mouse settings. There's no lint or other visible debris in the sensor aperture. Tracking speed is below the halfway increment in the settings. Do I need a special mouse pad?

(a) How do I get an old fashioned USB mouse since none appears on the Apple store?

(b) Failing (a), how do I reduce the functionality of the magic mouse to moving the pointer and doing right and left clicks since the gestures seem to be uncontrollable?

Mac Mini, Late 2014 build, OS 12.1