my apple watch isn’t working and is saying i need to update but it’s not connecting to the wifi and i cant connect it if it’s not connected to the phone

Is the watch still paired to your phone? If yes, try to unpair it:

Unpair and erase your Apple Watch - Apple Support

Update your Apple Watch - Apple Support

Did you try to "forget" the Wi-Fi connection on the Apple Watch and connect it again to WiFi?

Connect your Apple Watch to Wi-Fi - Apple Support

You can't update a watch that isn't paired;

What model of watch is it and what version of WatchOS is it running?.

What troubleshooting steps have you tried?.

What errror messages are you receiving?.

Has this watch ever been paired to another phone?