carplay doesn't come up

i had an iphone 7 and would plug it in to my car with the usb and carplay would come up. i had to upgrade my phone (sprint/tmobile change). I know have the 13. I plug it into my car the same way and a message comes up that indicates it detected my phone. Then nothing, carplay doesn't come up. i have changed the cord, turned the phone on and off, siri is activated. Been to the apple store they say there is nothing wrong with the phone, they suggested apple support but i have not been able to reach them and they don't call back. i have seen things online about carplay crashing but mine doesn't even come up. Beyond frustrated, i used it for navigation all the time.