I am not able to update my I pad, even connected to I tunes

Whether or not you are able to update any iPad to a newer version of iOS/iPadOS will be dictated by the iPad model - and the currently installed version of iOS. You can find this information here:

Settings > General > About

Not sure which iPad you have? Identify your iPad model.

Here is a list of the highest version of iOS supported by the older models of iPad (for simplicity - “generations” are shortened to a number) that are restricted in their ability to be updated:

iPad1 - iOS 5.1.1

iPad2, iPad3 and iPad mini1 - iOS 9.3.5 (WiFi Only models), iOS 9.3.6 (WiFi & Cellular)

iPad4 - iOS 10.3.3 (WiFi Only), iOS 10.3.4 (WiFi & Cellular)

iPad Air1, iPad mini2 and iPad mini3 - iOS 12.5.5

Newer models, not appearing in this list, are all able to be updated to the current version, iPadOS 15.3.1

The first generation iPad Air, iPad mini2 and mini3 - as suggested by your description - can only be updated to iOS 12.5.5.

Apple ended major update support for these models of iPad in September 2019 - although they since continue to receive “point” security updates - the most recent being released late last year. These devices cannot be updated to iPadOS 13 (or any later major versions of iPadOS) as the internal hardware does not meet the minimum technical requirements (CPU and RAM) for newer versions of iOS/iPadOS.

Some App developers have dropped support for iOS versions preceding iOS 13.x for technical reasons (often because APIs or software libraries upon which they rely have been updated in the new version of iPadOS, making their App incompatible with earlier versions). 

Whilst many App titles remain compatible with your iPad, if you want or need to access to Apps requiring the most recent versions of iOS, you’ll need to consider replacement of your iPad with a newer or current model that supports iPadOS15.

Sorry, I appreciate that this may not be what you were hoping to learn.

I hope this information provides clarity as to your available options - and the fundamental limitations of your iPad.

Assuming you're trying to update your device wirelessly, and bearing in mind that to perform such a procedure you need to connect your device to a reliable and fast Wifi Network with Internet access (no cellular data, unless you use a 5G network, no personal hotspot on your device, no VPN connections are admitted, no Low Power Mode enabled, and I suggest that you keep the device plugged into power during the whole update process), read this support article:--> If your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch won’t update

Keep in mind that, depending on the available storage on your device and/or on your wifi network speed, it might take 30-60 minutes to complete the entire update process.

If the issue persists, or if the iOS version currently running on your device is very old, try to update it via computer (if you don't have a computer borrow one from your friends/neighbors, or ask for help at an Apple Store or Authorized Service Provider), then learn how to update your device manually if you're using a Mac with macOS Catalina or later, or if you're using a Mac with macOS Mojave or earlier or a Windows PC.

If you still get no help, contact Apple Support directly, using this link:--> Get Support

Regards

Giulio