how do i take off activation lock if i dont have the password. a customer gave me there dead moms ipad

The iPad is - and will remain - useless to you. The Activation Lock can only be removed from Apple’s back-end servers using the AppleID account credentials thar were last used to successfully activate the iPad.

Here are the Apple support pages that outline the Activation Lock - and the only mechanisms by which it can be turned off:

Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support

As you will discover, unless you are the owner of the AppleID that was last used to activate the device, you’ll not be able to defeat or bypass the Activation Lock. With documentary evidence that you are the original owner (such as sales receipt showing the serial number), Apple may be prepared to assist - otherwise they and nobody here will be able to help you.

keenan250 wrote:

how do i take off activation lock if i dont have the password. a customer gave me there dead moms ipad

You don't, that ipad is useless without the original owners info.