my system will not update it just keeps spending
it says there is update available but it will not update
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The Age of this computer will Govern what newer version of macOS it will Qualify to install. Use About this Mac from the Apple Icon on Desktop - the required Information will be there.
With the above information in-hand - follow this How to get old versions of macOS and verify what version this computer Qualifies to install. For Best results use Safari to commence the download as Others may not work.
Safari will open a redirect and open the Apple Store where the download can commence.
Computer Qualify for the Monterey upgrade
macOS Big Sur 11 hardware requirements
macOS Catalina 10.15 hardware requirements
macOS Mojave 10.14 hardware requirements
macOS High Sierra 10.13 hardware requirements
macOS Sierra 10.12 hardware requirements
OS X El Capitan - Technical Specifications
Caution - jumping over all the newer versions and directly to Big Sur / Monterey on Qualifying computers is Technically possible - there are those who have attempted and were successful. Then there are those who attempted and had less than good results.
If this is a Production or Mission Critical Set-up - a more prudent and measure approach is suggested.
The above is from observations on the Apple Support Community Forums and IMHO
Tips Big Sir Upgrade Released Nov 2020
Tips Monterey Upgrade Released Oct 25, 2021
Make Time Machine Backup is very useful and can be used to Revert to Previous Working macOS
Notation - Mojave is the Last version to support 32 bit applications / extensions and Drivers. Catalina, Big Sur & Monterey supports only 64 bit and there is no workaround.
Suggest using Go64 to find 32 bit application before attempting the upGrade. Some or many of the Application already installed may required update or upGrades to 64 Bit Versions.