I think my email address is incorrect because when an email to reset my password is sent I do not receive the email

See if you can get a Rescue or Notification email option. Link to contact Apple Support at the end of the 2nd article.

Apple ID - Manage  -     

Apple ID – Forgot Password  *      

The message I received from Apple said to follow directions in the email but the email listed isn't mine nor has it ever been.

I am trying to set up a new i pad and the verification is sending the stepd to do so to and old email I do not have access to....How do I change it to send to my new email? So I may continue to set up the new i pad with out being locked out for security.

You have correct email that you sending but on my security file is incorrect email