Greetings Gunner41,
Let’s begin with your name being grayed out in Settings on your iPhone. If you go to Settings > Screen Time, tap on Content & Privacy Restrictions and then scroll down. Next to ‘Account Changes’ does it show Allow or Don’t Allow? This is a restriction that prohibits any changes to signed in accounts from being made.
You had asked about sharing iCloud with your wife. Can you tell us more about what you mean? For example, are you wanting to have your wife use the same login (Apple ID) as you? Or, and this is the better option, are you wanting to set up Family Sharing and share paid for iCloud storage with your wife? Here’s a bit about Family Sharing - What is Family Sharing?
If you would find it easier to speak with Apple Support on this, you can reach either by calling the number for your region Contact Apple for support and service or reaching out with this link here - Contact Apple Support.
Thanks.