when trying to restore data from my old stolen ipad to the new one i get instruction to turn off FIND MY on the old ipad. since I have no access to the old one, what now?

If you no longer have access to your stolen iPad, see this page:--> remove a device from Find My iPhone on iCloud.com. 

* On an iPad or iPod touch, tap "Find My iPad" or "Find My iPod touch." 

But before proceeding, how are you trying to restore data? From a backup? (on iCloud or on a computer)?

Where and when does that message appear? Can you please take a screenshot and show us that message?

Regards

Giulio