do i have to put my phone in recovery mode to reset password

Restoring a device is the one and the only mechanism to reset a screen lock passcode. Sorry, but yes that will erase the device. That is by design so that no one can reset a screen lock passcode on a device and keep the data intact.

Owners should always be making regular iCloud and/or iTunes/Finder backups to restore their data after restoring the device.

Computers don't have iOS. What model computer do you have, what OS is it running and what version of iTunes (if any).

You can also try this if you are running 15.2 or later -> How to reset your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch when you forgot your passcode - Apple Support

Unfortunately, no. Follow the instructions on the page you just came from. If you made backups, you restore your data from there.

You need a MS windows or MacOS computer to restore. The act of restoring will download and install iOS on the iPhone.