disable haptic pulse and click sounds on long press

How do I turn off the physical and audible feedback for long pressing the screen without also disabling essential functionality? For instance, I can make the click sound of the long press go away by putting the phone in silent mode, which also disables ringtones for incoming calls and texts. I prefer vibrations anyway, but I shouldn't have to do this.

The problem with silent mode is that there is still a physical pulse sensation when long pressing the screen unless I completely disable vibrations. Unless I am missing something (and I hope I am), my options are:

1) Not have any convenient way to know when I receive calls or texts,

2) Hate interacting with my phone,

3) Use a 6 year old phone

4) Find a non-apple product that deals with this better.

Leaning toward option 3. Hoping there's a solution that lets me keep my shiny new phone.