how to update my ipad software?

Presumably you refer to a system software update for your iPad - as opposed to individual App updates?

The tags appended to your post suggest that your have an iPad mini with iOS9 installed. The iPad2, iPad3 and iPad mini1 can only be updated to iOS 9.3.5 (WiFi Only models) or iOS 9.3.6 (WiFi & Cellular models).

Apple ended update support for these models in September 2016. These models of iPad cannot be updated to iOS 10 or later major versions of iOS, as the internal hardware does not meet the minimum technical requirements for new versions of iOS/iPadOS. This limitation cannot be bypassed; these are 32-bit architecture devices, whilst all recent versions of iOS/iPadOS are designed for 64-bit hardware platforms. iPad2, iPad3 and iPad mini1 are obsolete.

You may need to consider that compatible Apps for older models of iPad are increasingly difficult to find - as App Developers have dropped all support for 32-bit devices and many for iOS versions preceding iOS11/12/13. As older versions of Apps are removed from the Apple App Store, you’ll not be able to (re)download or install them - which may severely limit the usefulness and utility of your iPad. As such, if you want or need to access most current Apps, requiring more recent versions of iOS than your iPad is capable, you’ll need to consider replacement of your iPad with a newer or current model.

Of current models, even the entry-level iPad9 has specifications and capabilities that will massively outperform you current iPad - and is compatible with the vast majority of current Apps. Other models are more powerful still.

Whether or not you are able to update any iPad to a newer version of iOS/iPadOS will be dictated by the iPad model - and the currently installed version of iOS. You can find this information here:

Settings > General > About

Not sure which iPad you have? Identify your iPad model.

Here is a list of the highest version of iOS supported by the older models of iPad (for simplicity - “generations” are shortened to a number) that are restricted in their ability to be updated:

32-bit devices (obsolete)

iPad1 - iOS 5.1.1

iPad2, iPad3 and iPad mini1 - iOS 9.3.5 (WiFi Only models), iOS 9.3.6 (WiFi & Cellular)

iPad4 - iOS 10.3.3 (WiFi Only), iOS 10.3.4 (WiFi & Cellular)

64-bit devices

iPad Air1, iPad mini2 and iPad mini3 - iOS 12.5.6

iPad Air2, iPad mini4 - iPadOS 15.7.2

Newer models are all able to be updated to the current version, iPadOS 16.2

• iPad Pro (all models)
• iPad Air (3rd generation and later)
• iPad (5th generation and later)
• iPad mini (5th generation and later)

If your iPad is capable of being updated to a more recent version of iOS/iPadOS than is currently installed, these support pages outline both the available methods by which the update can be performed - and troubleshooting should you experience difficulties:

Update your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support

If you can't update or restore your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support

If your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch won’t update - Apple Support

iOS update and restore errors – Apple Support

Be aware that while an iPad may be capable of update, in some circumstances you may need to use a computer to perform the update. To do so, you will need access to either a Window PC (with iTunes for Windows installed) or a Mac (with iTunes or Finder - as appropriate for the installed version of MacOS). Ensure that your installed version of iTunes has been updated to the most recent version; the essential device drivers are included:

Download and use iTunes for Windows – Apple Support

Update to the latest version of iTunes – Apple Support

Update software on iPhone, iPad or iPod touch in iTunes on PC - Apple Support

If you have a beta profile installed, ensure this has been removed from your iPad - as, otherwise, installation of production software updates may be inhibited. This support page provides the necessary information to remove the beta from your iPad:

How to uninstall iOS beta software - Apple Support

You should note that for your iPad to install an available update, its battery must be charged to at least 50% capacity - and/or be connected to its Power Adapter. Similarly, the iPad can only be updated over a standard WiFi connection - or be updated by a PC or Mac using iTunes or Finder - over a USB connection.

All may not be lost.

Have never own a iPad and tried the Trade In for that device but not warm in trying ?

If the user wishes to explore the Apple Trading In option where the Value of the exiting machine could be used against the cost of a new Apple Device

Or Shop Refurbished Apple for iPads at an Apple Reduced Cost

If you have an iPad mini as your signature indicates, iOS 9.3.5 is the latest version you can run.