my iPad is disabled and I can't download the iTunes app it won't let me

Hello,

I see you have a disabled iPad. Refer to this document for various methods you can use to resolve this depending upon your equipment specifications: If you see an iPhone or iPad unavailable message or Security Lockout screen - Apple Support

macOS versions released starting with Catalina don't use iTunes. If you have a "newer" system use the Finder, as described in Locate and view your iPhone or iPad on your computer.