I need to update my phone

To check and see if an update is available for your phone:

Tap Settings

Tap General

Tap Software Update

If an update is available, it will appear on the screen and you can tap to proceed. Make sure that you have a good Wi-Fi Internet connection and that the battery is charged to at least 60%+

What's the current iOS version running on your XR? (see it in Settings>General>About>Software Version).