Why isn’t my Apple Watch charging or resetting?

It depends what you mean by 'reset'.

If you mean you need to do a Forced Restart (reboot, the universal computer fix) then please see Restart your Apple Watch - Apple Support

If you are trying to completely erase your Apple Watch (Factory Reset) and start again or pair it to a new iPhone, please see Unpair and erase your Apple Watch - Apple Support but... if it doesn't work as described then do the Forced Restart described above, then try again.

If you can't get it working, post back with more detail and tell us what you do and what you see with your eyes when it goes wrong, rather than just saying it doesn't work.

As you noted, a Genius Bar appointment at your local Apple Store will be your method of last resort.

Considering your snarky and impatient reply to yourself only one minute after your initial post, I think the best solution is to give you a direct link to the online user guide so you have immediate access to the answers for most of the common questions.

Apple Watch User Guide - Apple Support