how can I connect my iPhone to Apple TV without controller or wifi

You will need a functional remote (borrowed or purchased) to do the setup, including network settings, so that both devices can be on the same home network for the software remote to work.

If you connect by ethernet, then the network settings may not need any configuration, and then the software remote can connect. That wouldn’t help you transition to Wi-Fi, though: As soon as you disconnect, the devices wouldn’t be on the same home network anymore, so no software remote functionality.

If you lost the remote for your Apple TV - Apple Support

The best advise is to buy a replacement remote. That wouldn’t depend on the home network.

Siri Remote (3rd generation) is compatible with Apple TV HD (4th generation) or later with tvOS 15.4 or later.