how do i regain access to my apple id when passwords, trusted numbers and basicslly EVERYTHJNG has been changed? apple support is absolutely NO help- but they "hope i have a better day l

Read this document if you think your Apple ID has been compromised. --> If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple Support

For iOS 15 or earlier, if you want to see if anyone else has access to your device or accounts, click here --> See who has access to your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support

For iOS 16 or later see how Safety Check on iPhone works to keep you safe. How Safety Check on iPhone works to keep you safe - Apple Support

Related materials:

Personal Safety User Guide

Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support

> open the Table of Contents and review the articles

A document with general information about security and your Apple ID --> Security and your Apple ID - Apple Support

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security by clicking on this link --> Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - Apple Support "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues."

FYI, we’re a group of users w/o any access to your account … however …

Not sure to whom at Apple you were speaking, but as it appears from your post that your account has been taken-over, have you tried these “Security” folks:

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - Apple Support

In the end you have to be able to prove to Apple you are the owner of the account and not just somebody trying to socially hack your way into the account. Without a password or a trusted item you could be anybody who has found an email address on the Internet and is trying to use it to get access to an account. I know this can be frustrating but that's another way to look at it.

Did you try account recovery? How to use account recovery when you can’t reset your Apple ID password - Apple Support

You may be able to prove your ownership by other means, but in the end it has to be to Apple's satisfaction to prevent the wrong people from getting access to your personal data.