Hello Islapooch20,
We understand you are trying to access your spouse's music as part of your Family Share. First, here is content that can be shared: If you can't find your family's shared content
He can share music purchases with you, but with the Family Share, he can't share his entire library as you describe. You can download any music he's purchases and create your own playlists into your own Apple Music Library.
View and download other family members’ purchases
1. In the Music app
on your Mac, choose Account > Family Purchases.
2. Note: If you see Purchased or Upgrade to Family, Family Sharing isn’t set up for you. See Upgrade to a family subscription.
3. Click a name near the top-left corner (next to Purchased), then choose a family member to view their purchases.
4. To download an item, click its Download button
.
5. To view only your downloaded items, click Songs in the sidebar, then choose View > Only Downloaded Music.
Important: To share purchases, all members of the family group must be in the same country or region (as determined by the billing address associated with their Apple ID). If a family member moves to another country or region and updates their Apple ID information, that person might lose access to the purchases of other family members, and installed apps that were shared by other family members might not work. See the Apple Support article Change your Apple ID country or region.
He can also specifically share a playlist he's curated in Apple Music. Here are the steps he'll need: How to share an Apple Music playlist on your iPhone or iPad
If you have any other concerns, let us know.
All the best.