I can’t connect my iPhone to the laptop to recover my passcode

If your device has iOS 15.2 or later installed, you can reset it without a computer; check out this link→How to reset your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch when you forgot your passcode - Apple Support. Otherwise you will need a computer:

See this Apple support link→If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support

Or watch this companion video ⬇️

After restoring the phone using one of the methods above you can restore your most recent backup.

If you're experiencing difficulty connecting your iPhone to your PC, there are a few steps you can take to troubleshoot the issue:

1. Assuming you have Windows 10. Download and use iTunes for Windows 10. With iTunes for Windows 10, you can manage your entire media collection in one place. Download and use iTunes for Windows 10
2. Check the USB cable and ports: Ensure that you're using a certified Lightning to USB cable and try connecting it to different USB ports on your PC. Also, check for any physical damage or debris in the ports that may be preventing a proper connection. Use genuine cable --> Identify counterfeit or uncertified Lightning connector accessories ...
3. Disconnect all other USB devices from your computer, except for your keyboard and mouse. --> Resolve USB-related alerts in iTunes/Finder - Apple Support
4. Restart your iPhone and PC: Sometimes, restarting your devices can resolve temporary connection issues. Restart both your iPhone and your PC, and then try connecting them again.
   1. Restart the device. That's it.
   2. Still not solved --> Force restart iPhone - Apple Support
5. Make sure that your iPhone is running the latest software versions. On your iPhone, go to Settings > General > Software Update
   1. Update Over-the-Air (OTA) —> Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support (IN)
   2. Update using iTunes/Finder —> Update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support (IN)
6. Trust the computer: When connecting your iPhone to your PC for the first time, you may need to trust the computer on your iPhone. Unlock your iPhone and check for any prompts asking you to trust the connected computer. Confirm the trust request on your iPhone. About the “Trust This Computer” alert message on your ...
7. Try a different port, cable, or computer. The issue could be related to your computer, its USB port, or the USB cable connecting it to your device. If possible, try a different computer, USB port, or USB cable. Also, check for any debris in the charging port on the bottom of your iPhone or iPad. --> If your computer doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod ...
8. Reset your iPhone's settings: If the issue persists, you can try resetting your iPhone's settings. Go to Settings > General > Transfer & Reset > Reset > Reset All Settings. This will not erase your data but will reset your settings to their default values. After the reset, attempt to connect your iPhone to your PC again. Return iPhone settings to their defaults - Apple Support (IN)
9. If unable to connect --> If iTunes doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod - Apple Support
10. For your Windows PC —> Troubleshooting issues with iTunes for Windows - Apple Community
11. Sometimes, third-party security software or firewalls can interfere with the connection between your iPhone and PC. Temporarily disable any security software or firewalls and see if that resolves the issue.

If you are experiencing an issue not listed here, contact support as they can provide specific troubleshooting steps based on your situation.

You can do the following using iTunes :

1. Following this process is the only way out if your iPhone is disabled. The steps given in this link will help you reset the passcode -> If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your ...
   1. Note: If you have forgotten the Screen Time Passcode then restoring your device from a backup after the passcode reset will return the Passcode back to your device. So, please do not restore from a backup.
2. See how to --> Sync your iPhone, iPad, or iPod using iTunes on your computer ...
3. Learn how to--> Update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support
4. Here is the process to --> Backup on iTunes.
5. Microsoft support says (iTunes not required for Import) --> Import photos and videos from an iPhone to a PC
6. In the iTunes app on your PC, choose Account > Sign In > Set up and view an iTunes Store account on PC - Apple Support
7. Organize and play your music and video · Play or download unlimited songs with Apple Music (with a paid subscription) · Find music, movies, TV shows, and audiobooks--> What is iTunes on PC?
8. In the iTunes app on your PC, choose Account > Sign In, then sign in with your Apple ID. If you don't have an Apple ID, you can create one during setup. Choose Music from the pop-up menu at the top left, then click For You. Click Try it Now, then follow the onscreen instructions. Subscribe to Apple Music using iTunes on a PC

Why can't you connect your phone to your laptop? You do have a laptop, correct?

You are not going to be able to recover your passcode. It is up to you to remember the passcode. You will have to reset the phone and then set it up again with a new passcode.

Follow the instructions in the Apple Support document that appears above your name in your original post.