Hi there Igiveup2023,
Thank you for posting to Apple Support Communities.
We understand you're trying to connect your car to CarPlay. We can help.
Make sure your car is a 2016 - 2023 model year: iOS - CarPlay - Available Models - Apple
Then, be sure that your iPhone is updated to the latest iOS version. Before updating, we recommend backing up your iPhone first. These articles can be of help. When you back up, you can back up using a Mac or PC rather than iCloud if you choose.
How to back up your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch
Update iOS on iPhone
Then, make sure you're following the steps:
-Check your connection to your CarPlay stereo:
* If you have a wired connection, try connecting again with a different USB cable to a different USB port if you have one.
* If you have a wireless connection, make sure that Bluetooth is turned on on your iPhone under Settings > Bluetooth. Then go to Settings > Wi-Fi, and make sure that Wi-Fi is also turned on. Tap the CarPlay network, and check that Auto-Join is turned on.
1. If CarPlay doesn't activate automatically, look for the CarPlay logo on your car's display and select it.
2. Restart your iPhone and your car.
3. Make sure that Siri is on.
4. If your iPhone isn't detected by CarPlay, make sure that CarPlay isn't restricted. Go to Settings > Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions. If Content & Privacy Restrictions is on, tap Allowed Apps, and make sure that CarPlay is enabled.
5. Go to Settings > General > CarPlay, tap your car, then tap Forget This Car. Then set up CarPlay again.
6. Make sure that your CarPlay stereo is using the latest firmware from the car manufacturer. Check your car's manual for more information.
If you need help with CarPlay - Apple Support
If you're still having trouble after that, we do recommend contacting Apple Support: Apple Support
Take care.