Concerned someone has remote access
Concerned that somebody has remote access to my iPhone and also my Apple IDs and well actually there’s multiple ones that I’ve never recognized before
iPhone 12 Pro
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I’m going to be very blunt. You really need to either get rid of all of these devices, or you need to come to terms with complexity and uncertainty and unfamiliarity.
Security is never certain. Never absolute. Nothing can be.
There are ways to mitigate some security risk, such as unique and robust passwords, awareness of security practices, maintaining appropriate backups, and keeping updated to current.
But there are no absolutes here. Even the simplest of simple cellphones can still be vulnerable.
With iPhone and security? Using Safety Check, and some other included information, might help:
… Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support