i let someone use my extra ipad now im activation locked out. How can i get it reset to factory?

You only have 2 options:

• Have the person who set it up unlock it.
• If purchased by you and you have the receipt that shows the serial number of the device from Apple or Authorized Apple seller, then you could try a support request and upload the information to Apple.

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support

Other than that, the iPad will be of no use, so your best option may be to have the person who set it up, unlock it.

Presumably you are being prompted for your AppleID credentials - so as to satisfy the Activation Lock. You will require the AppleID an associated password that was last used to successfully activate the device - which, for the bona-fide owner, should be straightforward.

Here are the Apple support pages that outline the Activation Lock - and the only mechanisms by which it can be satisfied:

Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support

As you will discover, unless you are the owner of the AppleID that was last used to activate the device, you’ll not be able to defeat or bypass the Activation Lock. With documentary evidence that you are the original owner (such as sales receipt showing the serial number), Apple may be prepared to assist - otherwise they and nobody here will be able to help you.

If you have the necessary documentation, Apple have recently introduced a new portal though which you may be able to request release of an Activation Lock:

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support & start an Activation Lock support request.

However, recovery of the AppleID credentials should be possible…

If you have forgotten your AppleID or associated password, these can be recovered here:

https://iforgot.apple.com/

To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to any one of the following:

• Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
• Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
• Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID

More information about recovery of your AppleID and associated Password:

If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

With documentary evidence that you are the original owner (such as sales receipt showing the serial number), Apple may be prepared to assist - otherwise they and nobody here will be able to help you.

Without proof of ownership acceptable to Apple, or assistance from the owner of the AppleID that currently secures the iPad, you will not be able to release the Activation Lock.

You'll need to ask them to unlock it.

Sorry, but the device will never be usable then. That is Apple's anti-theft protection and there is no way around it other than what has been suggested.