I want to pay someone using my own credit/debit card. I do not want to use Apple cash. I see references to using a bank card to directly pay someone, but no directions how to make that happen? Wallet App keeps directing me to "hold near reader".

See the "Use a debit card to send money" section of Send and receive money with Apple Cash - Apple Support

To send the money you use the instructions in Send and receive money with Apple Cash - Apple Support and you choose your debit card as the source of the funding as described in the first paragraph of this reply.

Another option you might try would be to first add money from the debit card to Apple Cash and then try sending it. You shouldn't need to do that, but might try it. See instructions in Add money to Apple Cash - Apple Support

If you don't want to try that, another way to get help is Contact - Official Apple Support

You can't. If you want to pay someone with a credit or debit card, they will need to subscribe to a payment processing service that allows them to accept credit/debit cards for payments.