In VENTURA the calendar is "shot down" at Synch with iPhone !?

I'm having all sorts of problems with my Calendar and Ventura. Apple seems more than happy to have things like this take scores of hours of our time to where the computer is no longer a convenience or productivity tool but something sucking days on end trying to fix it. I didn't get it thinking it would be unreliable.

I followed the directions and made sure the connection to iCloud was OFF before I deleted calendars off my iCloud version of the calendar, since the iCloud version was not working anyway but then when I looked again my desktop version was blank too; fortunately I had saved the archive (not sure how to get it back in) and the individual ics calendars' files. None of this managed to clear out the cached calendar names in the INFO tab for syncing the calendar to the iPhone.

There is a site up that says I could "clear the cache" by selecting the MINUS sign in System Settings/Internet Accounts and selecting the account (iCloud account is what it is because all my calendars are manually created related to my Mac and not a third party web account calendar. I am afraid to try to do that and mess it up worse because there is no "minus" sign in Ventura where it says to go. The web directions I found were written for a past MacOS -- found in WikiHOW from 2019. Maybe not a good way to do it but why doesn't APPLE put more info on clearing caches up re Calendar?

still checking but I think I stumbled onto the solution finally. There were no Caches to clear in the places the senior tech tried to look. But I found days later a Terminal command that kills the calendar processes that were stuck:

https://wilkinsit.ca/mac-osx/clear-calendar-cache-mac-os/

killall Calendar

That helped me but my calendar is blank and I had a backup so I should soon be good to go after I do a little more disk first aid checking from having used that command, but it did clear the stuff that was stuck in the INFO tab area listing OLD calendars I had changed the name of which were not reflecting the current version I want to send to my iPhone. And iCloud's version of the calendar wasn't working properly.

If this doesn't solve my problem I will probably erase the drive and reinstall Ventura as suggested by past techs who didn't mention this "kill" command.