how can I stop Facetime from opening on my Mac everytime I get a call on my phone and Facetime is turned off on the Mac

Hi Regina425,

It sounds like a Continuity feature is enabled for FaceTime. You can turn that feature off as follows, by turning off, instead of on:

Set up your iPhone and FaceTime on Mac for phone calls - Apple Support

Set up your Mac

If you turn on Wi-Fi Calling on your iPhone, you might be asked to turn on Calls from iPhone on your Mac when you open FaceTime on your Mac. If you don’t get this notification, do the following.

1. In the FaceTime app  on your Mac, choose FaceTime > Settings, then click General.

2. Select Calls from iPhone.

3. If you don’t see this option, make sure your Mac meets all of the requirements, then open FaceTime settings again.

4. If an Upgrade to Wi-Fi Calling button appears, click it, then follow the onscreen instructions.

5. This button appears if your carrier supports Wi-Fi Calling when your iPhone is turned off or is on a different Wi-Fi network.

Check that out, and let us know if you're still getting the notification to answer on your Mac.

Take care!

Hi Regina425,

That's wonderful to hear! Have a great rest of your day.

Cheers!