mac turned into an iphone screen

"my husband's side of the computer is just perfectly fine". If by this you mean his user, then you need to consider your user profile is corrupt and you need create another for your work and remove your old user. When this is done, you can choose to keep the old user's Home folder and the data in it.

A user becoming corrupt is not all that uncommon. The fact that only you are affected is a strong clue there's nothing wrong with the computer per se, just your user.

By "your side of the computer" do you mean your User Account, and if so are you using Launchpad?

Use Launchpad to view and open apps on Mac - Apple Support

The Launchpad screen resembles an iPhone's screen.

... because apple doesn't want people to share devices including macs.

That's not correct. It seems you two are already sharing a Mac, and are sharing it correctly. Each one of you can have your own viewing preferences. Changing yours won't affect your husband's.

I gave you my solution, it's your call whether to act on it or not.

The fact that Apple set it up does not mean you shouldn't make changes. Now is the perfect time to learn more about your computer's operation and maintenance.

Launchpad requires no setup.

Perhaps Writing an effective Apple Support Communities Question - Apple Community may help you to describe what's going on. It includes instructions for capturing and posting screenshot to this site. Please do not post any personal information.

When you say "the zoom in/out feature is completely gone", what do you mean, precisely?

If you open System Preferences – which Ventura calls System Settings – one of the things you'll find in there is an Accessibility panel that can make all sorts of big changes to the user interface. If something flipped one of those settings on or off, a big change that made your account barely usable might be very easily reversible.

For instance, one of the Accessibility features is some sort of system-wide Zoom feature. (This is separate from application-specific zoom features commonly found in Web browsers, word processors, and photo editors.)

"On your Mac, use Zoom settings for accessibility to make the entire screen larger or to enlarge just the area where the pointer is located."

If that is what you were using and it went away, maybe you just need to turn it on again.

idsummitgirl wrote:

No i am not using launchpad, never heard of it before.

Launchpad displays full-screen grids of icons – very similar to the screens on iPhones – allowing you to launch applications with a single mouse click.

Its icon looks like a 3x3 grid of colored squares. I can run it from the Dock, from the Applications folder, or by pressing the F4 key (the one marked with two rows of boxes).

It's also possible to set up Mission Control to run Launchpad when you drag the mouse pointer into a corner of your screen.

https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/06/05/how-to-set-up-and-use-launchpad-on-macos

In Ventura, I think the controls are in System Settings > Desktop & Dock > Hot Corners…. While that doesn't seem to be set up to run Launchpad by default, I discovered that the lower right hand corner of the screen has been set up to run something called Quick Note. (Click on the little square, and the Mac opens Notes and puts you into a new, blank note.)