software update on new device is taking a very long time

Hello barbg77,

Welcome to Apple Support Communities. We understand that the iOS update is taking longer than expected. We are happy to help.

Please try the steps here: If your iPhone or iPad won't update - Apple Support

"If the download takes a long time

You need an internet connection to update your device. The time it takes to download the update varies according to the size of the update and your internet speed. You can use your device normally while downloading the update, and your device will notify you when you can install it. To improve the speed of the download, avoid downloading other content and use a Wi-Fi network."

These steps may help. Please let us know if you have further questions.

Take care.